Deb's Mutterings

People keep reassuring me that time will help to heal this terrible loss, but it doesn’t seem to be. These past few weeks have been particularly hard, sad, and difficult to get through. I barely manage to just get through each day, and hate the feeling of just getting through - life used to be so much more.

I am doing a few odd-jobs for some online paperscrap businesses, trying to make good decisions about keeping the farm running, struggling to get back into digital designing, keeping house, caring for the children. Most nights I am too tired and heart-weary to even think of turning on the computer for scrapping, although I have dabbled a little with my paper supplies. I made a little bragbook album for Ray’s Mum (birthday), and am trying to think of some mini-albums I could make for the children. Going through photos is terribly hard, they bring back so many memories of Ray, the things we did and all we shared, reminding me of our awful loss.

A layout I completed for the Weeds&Wildflowers blog challenge.

I had just one shot at getting a photo of your first missing tooth - you haven’t much wanted to have your photo taken since Daddy died, because you say you don’t feel much like smiling. So I am glad to have this one photo, even though it’s not totally clear and sharp, to remember your first gap, the loss of your first baby tooth. I miss your happy little self, I miss your sparkly smiles, and I hope that one day you will feel like smiling for the camera again.

bg paper from Weeds&Wildflowers Believing in you
notepaper from Weeds&Wildflowers Taking Notes
wire word from Gina Marie (blog gift)
fonts - ck classical and Artistamp

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one hour at a time is fine you know. Whatever lets you get through the day right now is fine. One day, it may be near, it may be far, you will realise that it’s not as difficult as it was yesterday. Some days you’ll go forward, some days you’ll go backwards, but each day you keep going, just trying to get through.

Just remember there are a lot of us out here thinking and praying for you and the kids. *hugs*

Oh Deb,
I wish there were words I could say to help, but all i can do is pray that God will hold you in the palm of His hand and that one day not too far away you will all feel like smiling again.
Sending love,
sue v

Deb, I do believe that time heals, but I believe it takes a LONG time… a lot longer than what we ever expect. Hang in there, know that lots of people care about you and are thinking about you.

I’m so sorry you’ve had a particularly hard time of it of late Deb. The journaling on your layout just breaks my heart. Wish I could somehow heal your pain. As Jodie said, lots of people do care so much about you.

This breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Wish I had the right words to say but just know that there are so many people thinking of you and praying for you.

God bless you…

All of those lovely things we say with the very best of intentions can sometimes have the opposite effect, can’t they? Instead of telling you things will get easier with time, I’ll just say it will get different. And that will be a good thing for you eventually. I wish peace and comfort in your memories.

Your journalling breaks my heart too!
Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his. Psalm 100:3

Deb, I do know that with time you reach a point where you can look at photos and smile more and cry less. I think for every person how much time it takes is different. Don’t expect too much of yourself in moving past this deep grief. Just remember there is no time limit or deadline. It is a beautiful, heartfelt layout and Isaiah certainly has a beautiful smile. Please know that many people are holding you and your family in their thoughts and prayers. May God give you comfort and at least one thing to smile about each day. God bless you and your children.

I think that you remember to breathe each minute of the day is an achievement. As has already been said. one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

you may not feel very strong but I know that your strength is inspiring so many people to keep going each day…. *hugs*

I’m so sorry for what you are going through, Deb, But at least you’re trying to keep everything going and that means a lot, to the family and your children. I’m still thinking of you and your children, and glad to see you online again.

He is just adorable with the missing tooth! Hugs to you Deb! will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!

Deb, there isn’t anything that I can say or do to ease the pain and the loss that you feel. Just know that you are in all our thoughts and prayers. Keep taking each day one at a time.

-Autumn

My girl just lost her first tooth. I’m so glad you were able to scrap the memory and the moment, although bitter sweet I’m sure. You are still making a difference in lives of others. Hold on to that because God is still using you. ((hugs))

hugs==always thinking of you

What a beautiful LO of your son. I am just so sad hearing how your hearts are breaking. I send you love & strength. I pray that soon, things feel brighter for you & the kids. I know the pain never leaves, but one day it will get a little easier than it is right now. Take each day at a time & I pray that God will give you peace & strength. Thanks for sharing you heart right now.

Just popped in to see how you are all doing, sorry to hear you’re feeling so down, just sending some love for you and your kids and a prayer that things will get a little better

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